I spend a lot of time talking about poker and strategy, but of all the casino games, video poker is a different beast altogether. Let’s take a closer look starting out at some of the different video poker machines you’ll find in a casino, and whether they’re actually worth your time and money.

The standard machine: These are all Five Card Draw machines, so I’ll mention it once and then it’ll be understood. You get five cards, and you push a button or touch the screen to identify which cards you want to retain before the draw. Unlike some home games, you can pretty much dump all 5 if you really want. You make an initial bet to determine how much you win for each hand. There’s always a multiplier (x3, x5, etc…) that increases the payoff depending on how much you bet on the front end. Usually, you have to get at least a pair of 10′s on a standard machine to even win back the amount you bet, and you need two-pair to actually make money on the hand.

Bonus video poker: Ah, what would the casino world be without the word bonus. This is similar to a standard machine, only witht he addition of XX amount of coins for any pairs, trips or four of a kind hands. You also get a huge bonus for four Aces (unlike a home game where all you get is accusations of cheating).

Double, double bonus video poker: Yes, it starts to get crazy with all the extra doubles you see on these machines, often accompanied by super-enticing hands of Royal Flushes painted on above the video screen. And as the name would suggest, it just offers you a multiplier of the amount a straight bonus poker machine offers you. This is the first time I’m going to tell you to stay away from these machines. The double double machines only pay off 1:1 on a two-pair or higher, if you’re lucky, making the risk/return just not worth your time. Statistically, you’re at such a long-shot to hit 4-of-a-kind (the minimum value hand that really pays you anything), you’ll be pumping back in your winnings 5 times faster than they’re coming out. So in the end, you’re always going to walk away with – pardon the antiquated term – an empty bucket.

Wild card games: They suffer the similar disadvantages of the aforementioned machine, although they slide further down the slope and often don’t even pay out 1:1 until you get 3 of a kind. Sure, it’s “easier” to make that hand, but the return values for anything even including a full house are so small, it’s not even worth your time unless you’re really just looking to kill an hour before a show starts. Even then, I’d say get a drink and just strike up a conversation with someone, save your money for another time at the real poker tables.